Austin Keenan presents: "No, you're not."

Thoughts and links from a cynical skeptic

« Back to blog

You're not an athlete, and you will never be one.

I'm sorry to let you know this, but the only time anyone watches a "parkour" video (what a fucking TERRIBLE name for a so-called sport) is at times when they think they're going to see shit like this, where idiots like you jump off of things expecting to look like Tony Hawk but wind up busting your face into a million pieces in the name of something you made up to try and look cool.

Extreme sports include a real element of danger, usually coupled with a tool to aid the athlete in defying some sort of inevitable death that would happen under any ordinary circumstance.  snowboarding, hang gliding, jet skiing (with ramps and crazy tricks), and everything Evel Knievel pulled off: these are all examples of this.  Not parkour.

Parkour is a sport where fameball idiots intentionally throw themselves down stairs and cause injury to themselves because they're living up to their reputation as fucking idiots.  Most of the people who engage in this type of bullshit are of sound mind <--THAT'S FUCKING SARCASM, FOLKS.

Things you are not: athletic, agile, cool, skilled, smart, Evel Knievel

Dec 20, 2009
huma said...
hahah this reminded me of an episode I watched of the Office. I agree with the most part about idiots running around and hurting themselves but the real parkour is awesome! Those people have real skills...or so I believe!
Dec 20, 2009
Austin Keenan said...
then get some real parkour people to come talk shit on my blog lol
Dec 20, 2009
huma said...
hahahaaaaa i don't want turn this into alex jones blog hahaha