Austin Keenan presents: "No, you're not."

Thoughts and links from a cynical skeptic

This is not how you act sexy for your boyfriend, who is cheating on you. (slight nudity involved)

Are you serious?  What the hell do you think you're doing?  First off, you're broadcasting this to the entire damn internet; and, secondly, you're putting yourself in a most vulnerable position by putting the headphones on.  If there's music involved, honey, the audience wants to hear it.  It's probably more entertaining than watching you flail about trying miserably to look like a New Jersey stripper (or, better yet, a New Jersey guidette).

I love how your friend just mocks you in the background.  She's probably the one who stole this file and uploaded it for all the world to see.  She knows how pathetic this looks, and how much everyone is going to laugh at you.

You're embarrassing yourself not only because this is a stupid idea, but also because he probably doesn't even like you.  He probably hooked up with you once when he was drunk because one of your more attractive friends wouldn't give him the time of day.  In other words, he settled for a hookup that night.  If you think that's a relationship, then continue making an ass out of yourself on the internet.  Personally, I think he's cheating on you.  I know I would.

Things you are not: sexy, cute, in a relationship, keeping things private

(disclaimer: Before writing any nasty comments, try to remember that this is a humor blog.  If you thought about it and you still want to make a fool of yourself, go right ahead.)

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