Austin Keenan presents: "No, you're not."

Thoughts and links from a cynical skeptic

You're not allowed to show people your pictures from Disneyland anymore.

Disneyland

...especially if they look like this!  Look at the young one in the middle.  It looks like someone "Mickeyed her mouse" if you get my drift.  Papa-bear looks like a downright sex offender, and mom has probably got enough Pixie Dust in her to take out Dumbo.

But seriously, folks, Disney is now saying they have a right to go after people who post pictures of their vacations to Disneyland.  There's protection of intellectual property and then there's just plain being mean.  What would be better than saying you treat everything on a "case by case" basis is letting people know when they get to Disneyland that they need to look like they're having an ecstasy high the whole time, or else Disney will be forced to "protect" its intellectual property as well as their public image.

If Disney wanted to protect its public image, it'd put an end to animators putting subliminal sexual references into just about every animated Disney movie ever.  Then they might want to publicly address the allegations that Walt was a fierce anti-semite and stop suing people that have already given them money for vacation time.

Things you are not: in Disneyland on vacation, putting pictures of Epcot Center on Facebook, seriously wearing Mickey's face on your breasts (?)

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If you watched Duck Tales as a kid, you never got over seeing this episode.

You're not over it.  You're in denial.  You liked Duck Tales so incredibly much that you blocked this out and let it happen.  You sat stuffing your face with Lucky Charms while the Beagle Boys used chloroform to subdue Webigail, then took her to a seedy attic apartment where they forced her to do porno (at this time in her life you can guess what kind) and ultimately probably gang raped her.  You sat there and yelled for mom to bring you some more apple juice.

You're not innocent.  Don't blame this on "the bystander effect".  This is 2010, motherfucker.  If you see something, say something!  You're just as guilty as those sick-minded Beagle Boys, and that downright pervert Uncle Scrooge (hi, Jimmy! j/k)

Things you are not: innocent, experiencing bystander effect, 8 years old, getting anymore apple juice until dinner time

Filed under  //   austin   cartoons   comedy   cynical   cynicism   disney   duck tales   funny   humor   keenan   kidnapping   murder   porno   rape   sarcasm   sarcastic   skeptic   skeptical   skepticism   suicide   video   viral  
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